It's been so long since I've updated my mindsay and I feel like now is a good time to start updating more, and not because there's a whole lot of particularly exciting things going on but just because I haven't actually updated what's going on in my life to anyone really. So if you think about it, I've kept the last year to myself....that's kind of sad.

So I guess I should start from where I left off. I'm no longer at Plattsburgh. That's right, I screwed up and left an education that I probably should have stuck with. But I ended up moving into an apartment with Tom and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made.  We've been together for about 15 months and we've been in the apartment together for exactly one year this month.  I started going to another school this past fall but the school didn't have a form that they needed or something so I was dropped from all my classes.  That seriously pissed me off.  I was doing well in my classes too. So now I want to pick them up again this spring but take them online so I don't have to worry about dealing with problems like before.  Ok whatever, enough about school.

So when I told my mom about wanting to leave school and move in with Tom she was furious and it was really rough on both of us I think, but now I feel like we're really good.  I know that a lot of the reason that we're so good is that she's given Tom a chance and she I think kind of made herself not get so upset about everything.  Or maybe she just looked at one of my siblings relationships and then at mine with Tom and realized that things are changing and that she needed to kind of just roll with the punches in order for her to not go crazy. But anyways, I'm really happy that we're doing so well, and I love that she gets along with Tom so well. I would say more about my dad but he's pretty quiet and I think he's just dealing with everything on his own, which makes it easier for everyone.  The only thing that's been stressful about having a better relationship with my mom is that it's a LOT of driving.  I really like visiting but I get so sick of driving. And I know this is a little off topic but it really pisses me off that my brother and sister don't try to visit my parents a little more.  I realize that everyone has their own thing going but they're so much closer than I am and I probably see my parents more than they do.  I would hate if my kids did that to me when I'm older. I understand that they have their own things going on but I don't think it would kill them to call once in a while or something. 

And I know this is going to sound terrible but I feel like my brother and sister and I, don't really have a whole lot of relationship going on.  Hank's busy with school and running and girls, and he always said that once he was out of the house he didn't want to go back, so I don't really talk to him, and even when I do it's like I have to leave him a message and he doesn't even get back to me. And it's not like I don't make an effort because I've tried going to watch him run and do nice things for him so that he knows that I'm there but I feel like he doesn't care. He's not really like what he used to be like and it happened so quick and I wasn't there when it happened so it feels weird. He swears a lot more and lies to people and it's just not the guy that he used to be. I know he would hate if I said this too but I feel like sometimes he acts a lot like my father and that's not exactly something to be proud of.

I feel like my sister and I are even worse.  When I found out about her relationship last Easter I was feeling so many emotions and I feel like the only one that she paid attention to was my anger.  But that's not all I felt. At that moment in time I was just so taken back by what was going on and it really reallllllly hurt that she couldn't even tell me. I think that no matter how much I get over what's going on, I'll never get over the fact that she couldn't even tell me herself...or the fact that she STILL hasn't told me.  It's not easy for people to say the things that are important but it has to be done.  I feel like she's not only upsetting me by it, but it makes it hard for me to look at her with credibility. Sure I can ask her about math equations, but what happens when I want to ask her something about life? She can't even admit to a relationship that she's in, and she probably won't until she announces that she's engaged or something.   And it's not like I have anything against The D-man, it's just that it's something that I'm dealing with differenlty than everyone else I guess.  But I feel like she thinks the same thing about us not being close. After last Easter she barely talked to me and we've never really been as close as we were before all this happened.  I feel like she was being selfish.  It was like she didn't talk to me because she felt that was she was doing was ok.  So it was like she didn't accept my opinion even though my opinion was in no way being pushed on her. It was just how I felt.  The weird thing is that I have no problem with it now, it's still not something that I would ever see myself doing but I think I understand why it works for her. When you have a connection with someone you just have it. There's not really a whole lot you can do about that connection after a certain point. 

Ok I spent too much time on that but it felt kinda good to get it out...even though I've already told Tom everything I feel, it's still nice to vent.

Ok so enough family stuff. On to happier things.  Tom and I decorated our apartment for Christmas this year!  Last year we had just moved in and we didn't really have any decorations so it was pretty boring.  Plus we didn't even spend Christmas here last year. Well, we're not spending it here this year either because we're each going to our parents' houses but it's still nice to have Christmas decorations up. We got ourselves one of those little trees and some lights and we're all set.  The only problem is that our cat Seven keeps jumping on the chest that the tree is on and she bites and it so that the little pine needles fall off.....We don't even have a real tree and we have to deal with needles. what a pain. 

Ok well I've been updating for over an hour and I know there are more productive things that I should be doing right now so I'll check you all later and hopefully I'll be back to update soon.

Peaceoutgirlscout,

 Senorita Rita